Tall Dark and Handsome
by Smarty 94
Summary: When a substitute science teacher shows up in Toon City High days before Valentines Day and gets all the girls attention; Sonic and Edd come up with a plan to get rid of the sub without harming him. Meanwhile; Kevin and Shope discover that their school is now giving away meet for Valentines Day, they try to find out why meat is part of the day.
1. Mr Toro

At Toon City High; Edd went through the security checkpoint before claiming his backpack.

"I swear, this city is so dangerous that people won't be watching their backs to much." said Edd.

His eyes were then covered by a pair of hands.

"Guess who." said a voice.

Edd felt the hands.

"I want to say Sky." said Edd.

Sky blushed and uncovered Edd's eyes.

"You're good." said Sky.

"I rely on my eyes and brains like Sherlock Holmes." said Edd.

"How true." said Sky.

**Cutaway Gag**

Sherlock Holmes was looking at a dead body.

"Clearly Moriarty is the killer because his hair is all over the body." said Sherlock.

**End Cutaway Gag**

"Anyways, only a few days till Valentines." said Edd.

Sky nodded.

"Yep, can't wait." said Sky.

They then saw Twitch twitching a bit before drinking some coffee and stopped twitching before sighing in relief.

"Others are to worried." said Edd.

"Hey Twitch, what's up?" said Sky.

Twitch saw Sky and Edd and smiled.

"I'm fine, just drinking my morning decaf to get me through to noon." said Twitch.

"Harris going to be coming over to town on Valentines Day?" said Edd.

"I hope so." said Twitch.

Edd smiled.

"He's a great person." said Edd.

"I know, just a little nervous." said Twitch, "Long distance relationships seem to never work most of the time."

Sky smiled.

"What you and Harris have is working out." said Sky.

"Maybe, but it did start off as a con job at first." said Twitch.

"We know." said Edd.

Sky sighed.

"Hopefully it'll be a great Valentines Day reunion for you two." said Sky.

"I hope." said Twitch.

Later; the group was in their science class looking at Skinner who was looking at a piece of paper.

"Okay class, now your science teacher won't be making it into due to being sick." said Skinner.

"Then why does the back of the form say he's really in drug rehab?" said Sonic.

Skinner is shocked and saw what Sonic meant.

**Interview Gag**

First was Skinner.

"WHAT THE FU-"Skinner yelled before the interview quickly went static.

Lastly was Sonic.

"Gotta be honest right now, I'm a little surprised that our science teacher had a drug problem, Jude I get, but this guy not so much." said Sonic.

**End Interview Gag**

"Probably should have had a clipboard then." said Skinner.

"Obviously." said Eddy.

"Anyways, here's your substitute, Mr Toro." said Skinner.

Then a latin looking man in a suit appeared.

"Greetings class." said the man.

The woman looked on in shock.

"Whoa." said Jackie.

"I'm Mr Toro." said the man.

The women looked at him with lovesick eyes.

Sonic noticed everything and scooted over to Edd.

"Don't look now, but I think Sky's taking a fancy to this new teacher." said Sonic.

Edd looked at her then glared at Sonic.

"She does not." said Edd.

"She and all the other girls have hearts floating above their heads, even Twitch is taking a fancy to him." said Sonic.

Edd saw what Sonic meant and all the girls, even Twitch had hearts over his head and in their eyes, heck even the class hamster and class goldfish had hearts in their eyes.

"Oh boy." said Edd.

"I'd be more worried if he actually made lots of gods attracted to him." said Sonic.

"I'm going to lose Sky to this guy who's more handsome then the Greek deity Narcissus." said Edd.

"No you won't, you're a perfect guy for her in many ways. Your lack of self confidence is strange, but you and her are perfect for each other." said Sonic.

Edd nodded.

"Okay then." said Edd.

"Besides, we should work on your self confidence, because you've gotten scared by humanoid sharks before." said Sonic.

**Flashback**

Edd and Sonic were sitting at a table with a humanoid shark.

"So we just posted this profile of myself online for a good study group, and we didn't get any bites." said Edd.

The humanoid shark became mad.

"Is that a shark joke?" said the shark.

Edd shrieked before gulping.

But the Shark laughed.

"Cause if so, it's really funny." said the shark.

Edd sighed.

"Self confidence, gotta not be so scared all the time." said Sonic.

**End Flashback**

"Besides, I can get rid of this guy for you if you want." said Sonic.

Edd shook his head.

"No, no, I don't want anything bad to happen to him." said Edd.

"Nothing'll happen, I'll just make sure he never returns to this school ever again." said Sonic.

"You a gangster?" said Edd.

"Nope, just a hedgehog with lots of connections." said Sonic, "From Sega, to Nintendo, Disney, Warner Brothers, and Paramount."

Edd became confused.

"Warner Brothers?" said Edd.

"Ready Player One." said Sonic.

Edd nodded.

"Oh yeah, the two brief cameos." said Edd.

He cleared his throat.

"Anyways, how will you try to get rid of this guy?" said Edd.

Sonic leaned closer to Edd.

"I'd just cause a private incident with the substitute that'll become a rumor throughout the school, eventually the rumor will reach Principal Skinner's ears that he'll be forced to fire him, thereby making him unable to return to Toon City High." Sonic said quietly, "That doesn't work, I'll just make sure he's in the same bathroom as I am and start breaking wind, making it seem like he's the one farting, causing every girl to lose interest in him, because most girls don't like a guy who's disgusting."

"Yech." said Edd.

"Hey, I'm just trying to help a friend out." said Sonic.

Edd nodded.

"Okay." said Edd.

"Now if you'll excuse me class, I've got personal things to do." Mr Toro said.

He walked out of the classroom.

Sonic then started following the substitute teacher into a bathroom before the teacher walked into a stall.

The hedgehog then started eating lots of chili dogs and Taco Bell meals.

The hedgehog snickered before pulling out his phone and pushed the record icon on his phone.

He started farting loudly.

"What the?" said Mr Toro's voice.

Sonic farted some more.

"OH GOD!" yelled Mr Toro.

Sonic resumed farting.

"SON OF A BITCH!" yelled Mr Toro.

Sonic then farted the song When I See an Elephant Fly.

"DISNEY RUINED DUMBO FOR ME NOW!" yelled Mr Toro.

Sonic smirked before running out of the bathroom.

He returned to the classroom and sat down next to Edd before doing some work on his phone.

Edd noticed it.

"What're you doing?" said Edd.

"Just some splicing." said Sonic.

He finished working and plugged in some headphones before putting the headphones in Edd's ears.

"Listen to this." said Sonic.

He pushed the play icon on his phone and Edd sat down listening to everything.

"You ruined Dumbo for him by farting the entire elephant song?" said Edd.

"Even the reprise." said Sonic.

Edd became mad.

"You're a weird one. I ain't going to have anything to do with you getting rid of this guy, no matter what." said Edd.

Mr Toro entered the classroom.

"Whew, that was intense." said Mr Toro.

He walked to the front of the class.

"Okay, now let's get to work." said Mr Toro.

He pulled out a piece of paper and looked at it then at Sky.

"Sky is it?" said the substitute teacher.

Sky burped loudly.

Toro became confused.

"Are you okay?" said Mr Toro.

"Nah, she's alright, she just burps when she's nervous." said Meek.

"Or when she's in love." said Sonic.

Edd glared at Sonic.

"You're starting to get under my skin." said Edd.

"Janna got under Rock's skin by cutting off his arm and leg, and they still haven't made up. Besides, it's not like this whole thing'll end with Rock getting a pierced ear." said Sonic.

Rock turned to the two.

"You guys talking about me?" said Rock.

"No." Sonic and Edd said at once.

**Interview Gag**

"I know I didn't sneeze, but I have a feeling someone was talking about me." said Rock.

**End Interview Gag**

Sonic turned to Edd.

"Look, just think about how much you care about Sky, and come talk to me when you want to make this guy flee the country." said Sonic.

Edd nodded.

"Ok." He said.


	2. Meat on Valentines

At a middle school; a school bell rang and every student ran out of their classroom.

Kevin Reynolds went to his locker and opened it up before sticking some of his belongings into it over a flyer and closed it up.

He started to walk off but stopped in his tracks in shock before opening the locker again and pulled out the flyer and looked at it.

"Valentines Day approaching, bring your meat." said Kevin.

He became confused.

"Meat, don't people bring candy on Valentines Day?" said Kevin.

Dib and Zim in his human disguise came by and sighed.

"Trust me Kevin I wondered that myself." said Zim, "I got this whole thing with meat, just doesn't agree with me."

He was then hit in the eye by a steak and screamed in pain as Gaz and Shope appeared.

"I still don't know how the meat thing started." said Dib.

"I know." said Shope, "It doesn't make sense."

"That's why I'm picketing the whole thing." said Zim.

He pulled out a picketing sign that said 'No meat for Valentines, just candy'.

Everyone looked at Zim and agreed.

"How true." said Kevin, "And I'm not supposed to eat certain types of candy due to the whole braces treatment I'm going through."

He smiled revealing his braces.

"You can block a bullet with those things." said Gaz.

She pulled out a magnum revolver and shot a round at the teeth, but they bounced off the braces.

Everyone in the school screamed in shock and ran off.

The others were shocked.

"WHY DO YOU HAVE A REVOLVER?! THIS IS A SCHOOL FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! YOU ALSO HAVE IRKEN TECHNOLOGY THAT'S ACTUALLY TONY STARK'S STOLEN HULKBUSTER TECH." yelled Zim.

"Don't worry, no one will trace the bullet back to me, this gun's unmarked." said Gaz, "Also, what can law enforcment do to me? I'm 12."

However she was tackled to the ground.

"YOU ARE UNDER ARREST BY THE LAW OF THE MAYOR OF TOON CITY STATING ANY 12 YEAR OLD WITH A GUN IS SENT TO JAIL FOR THE REMAINING YEAR!" shouted the Police Officer.

"Well shit." said Zim.

"What is wrong with the mayor of Toon City?" said Shope.

**Cutaway Gag**

A very drunk Kronk was in his office drinking lots of beer before burping loudly.

Joker then placed a bill in front of the mayor.

"Now this bill states that a proposed law will involve all criminals being able to commit crimes and being pardoned for them no matter what." said Joker.

Kronk hiccuped.

"I'm to drunk to care right now." said Kronk.

He signed it before burping.

**End Cutaway Gag**

Gaz was then shoved into a cop car before it drove off.

"Should we even try to bail her out?" said Zim.

"Attention students, due to the recent shooting, the school is now closed for the day." a voice over the speaker system said.

"Why not, we now have the day off." said Kevin.

Zim sighed.

"Okay." said Zim.

Later; the group walked out of the police station with Gaz.

"It's about time you find a way to get the charges dropped." said Gaz.

Zim groaned.

"Trust me it took forever." He said.

**Flashback**

The others were in the station putting lots of money on a desk in front of a cop.

"Nope." said the cop.

Zim groaned.

"WHY NOT!" He shouted pissed.

The cop pointed to a sign that said 'Millions of dollars must be paid to the police to convince them to drop charges'.

Zim groaned.

**End Flashback**

"So we had to sell lots of plastic bottles that were littered all over town just to get the money." said Zim.

"What is this, communist Russia?" said Gaz.

"If this were communist Russian, then Zim would be viewed as an enemy of the government for his political views." said Dib.

Zim became mad.

"YOU DARE ACCUSE ME OF HAVING POLITICAL VIEWS AGAINST THE AMERICAN GOVERNMENT?!" yelled Zim.

"We know of your bad views about the American government." said Shope.

"Pretty hard not to never pay attention to when you talk about it at lunch every day." said Kevin.

"Also, why're you still going to school anyways, you're not hiding on this planet to invade anymore." said Dib.

Zim blushed.

"I learned to love School." He admitted.

"Well Earth does have lots to offer." said Shope.

"So true." said Dib, "Many friendly faces, lots of great landscapes, so many fast food restaurants."

"The victims of riddicule due to their large heads." said Gaz.

"MY HEAD'S NOT BIG!" yelled Dib.

Everyone laughed.

They stopped.

"We should get back on track with this meat thing." said Kevin.

"Agreed and we should start with my old teacher." said Zim.

Dib cringed.

"Trust me when I asked her she said I didn't want to know but calmly and not in anger." He said.

Dib sighed.

"But I should warn you, she is very creepy." said Dib, "If she's still alive that is."

Kevin laughed.

"Please how creepy is she?" He asked.

"More creepy then thug life choosing Pokemon." said Dib.

**Cutaway Gag**

In a cabin of sorts; a trainer was sleeping in a bed with a Pikachu.

Then a Chikorita escaped from it's pokeball and walked towards the bed happily.

It started jumping and saw the sleeping Pikachu.

The Chikorita growled in anger.

"Chiko." said Chikorita.

Vines appeared from the Chikorita before grabbing the Pikachu and lightly set it on the ground.

The femenine looking Pokemon jumped on the bed before crawling under the blankets and snuggled up to it's trainer.

Chikorita chuckled before setting some sunglasses over it's eyes and put on a hat that said 'Thug life' on it.

**End Cutaway Gag**

Everyone was confused.

"How is that not more creepy then your former teacher?" said Kevin.

At Dib's old school; everyone saw Dib's teacher.

Miss Bittles then hissed to her class.

"Okay, this is more creepy then a Chikorita who's part of the thug life." said Kevin.

His girlfriend nodded.

"Agreed." said Shope.

**Interview Gag**

The teacher was in there.

"What are these people doing here?" asked Miss Bitters and she punches the camera man.

**End Interview Gag**

The camera man was walking away from the heroes.

"I quit, a mockumentary style like fanfic series just isn't worth this trouble I go through." said the camera man.

Gaz scoffed.

"It's not that bad." said Gaz.

The camera man glared at Gaz and hissed at her.

Gaz hissed as well.

The cameraman shrieked and ran off.

Kevin groaned.

"Can we get back to this plot please?" He asked.

"I agree, we've been doing nothing but filler stuff." said Shope.

She then turned to the teacher.

"Hey sorry to interrupt but we were wondering something." She said.

"What?" asked Miss Bitters

"We need to know about the whole meat Valentines thing." said Dib.

Miss Bittles groaned.

"I already told you that you don't want to know." said Miss Bittles.

"I do." said Dib.

"And why is it?" asked Miss Bitters.

"Well my friends here also received Meats on Valentines and they are confused." said Dib.

Miss Bitters laughed.

"You friends?" She asked, "That's a laugh."

"You'd be surprised." said Kevin.

Miss Bitter became confused.

"Who are you?" She asked.

"One of Dib's friends." explained Kevin

Miss Bittles became shocked.

"Yeah I've come a long ways from being considered crazy." said Dib.

Zim removed one of his fake eyes.

"He has." said Zim.

Miss Bittles became more socked and fainted.

Everyone became shocked.

"JESUS CHRIST, YOU KILLED HER ZIM!" yelled Kevin.

"No she just fainted." said Zim, "I'm not sure anything can kill her. I'm not even sure how long she's been alive."

"Her first Christmas might have been the first Christmas." said Gaz.

**Cutaway Gag**

A young Miss Bittles was with three wisemen on camels.

"You sure you know which way you're going?" said Miss Bittles.

The wisemen nodded.

"Positive." said one of the wisemen.

"We're just looking for a place to crash and not the birth of the guy who'll create Christmas." said another wiseman.

"Yeah." said the Third Wise Man.

Miss Bittles became confused.

"Christmas?" said Miss Bittles.

They looked at Miss Bitters.

"Only the most awesomest holiday there'll be." said one of the wise men.

The Wise men and Miss Butters then arrived and saw a baby.

They then saw the Christmas star over the manjer.

"Whoops, wrong manjer." said a wise man.

**End Cutaway Gag**

Everyone was shocked.

"Please I was born in the stone ages." said Miss Bitters.

"First Christmas." everyone said.

"First vehicle." said Dib.

"Chariot." everyone else said.

Miss Bittles groaned.

"Anyway I can't help you with the Valentine Meats." She said.

"First sailboat." said Zim.

"Noah's ark." everyone else said.

"You done with these how old I am jokes?" said Miss Bittles.

"Nope." Said Zim, "FIRST DISNEY PRINCESS!"

"Snow White." everyone said.

"Okay, we're good." said Zim.

The teacher is mad and pressed a button on her desk launching everyone out of the school.

THey landed on the ground and stood up groaning.

"Like hell we'll be denied answers." said Kevin.


	3. Brainstorming

Back in Toon City High; all the students were in the cafeteria getting lunch.

Sky was at a table with Jackie, Zoey, and Twitch.

Zoey smiles as she took a bite out her turkey leg.

"That substitute is so hot." said Zoey.

The women and Twitch nodded.

"Yeah, I'd be all over that right now." said Twitch.

The girls looked at Twitch.

"Aren't you in an open relationship?" said Jackie.

"Yeah but he doesn't know that." said Twitch.

He drank some coffee.

Zoey rolled her eyes.

"Again with the coffee?" said Zoey.

"It's decaf woman, I switched to it by the end of the fanfic that introduced me, you were there." said Twitch.

Zoey sighed.

"Anyone see how he was looking at me?" said Zoey.

Jackie became mad.

"The hell he was, it was me he was looking at." said Jackie.

Sky became mad as well.

"He was checking me out." said Sky.

"Girls, girls, please, if Adam Sandler has taught me anything, it's that adultry is messed up in so many ways. If it were a female teacher in an affair with a male student, people would be enjoying it, but if it's the other way around, people would be upset." said Twitch, "You can look, but you can't touch."

The girls looked at Twitch.

"I vote we touch him." said Sky.

The women agreed and walked off.

Edd saw everything as a tear drop fell from his eye.

**Flashback Montage**

Edd and Sky were sitting on a tree branch with each other.

They both scooted close to each other before Sky burped loudly.

Later; the two were in a row boat on a lake when Sky burped loudly.

Later; they were in a line outside to see Spies in Disguise.

Sky burped loudly once more.

Then in another flashback; they were on a swan ride before Sky burped loudly.

Another flashback had Edd present a daisy to Sky before she burped so loud that all the pedals fell off.

The last flashback had the two looking at each other before kissing each other.

Then Sky burped loudly in Edd's mouth.

**End Flashback Montage**

Edd sighed and started to walk off, but saw Sonic and shrieked in shock.

"You got a burping fetish?" said Sonic.

Edd glared at Sonic.

"Don't judge me, her burping on me are the only times she's ever said she loves me." said Edd.

"Burping fetish." said Sonic.

Edd growled.

"Besides, from what I saw, it looks like all the girls'll be willing to commit adultry with a male teacher. Which is messed up when you realize it's a different story when it's a male student doing it with a female teacher." said Sonic.

"Don't remind me." said Edd.

Sonic then thought of something.

"Besides, my whole plan to get the teacher kicked out for his farting fiasco didn't work out." said Sonic.

Edd became confused.

"Why's that?" said Edd.

"Because it was personal, and I was accused of being a peeping tom." said Sonic.

Edd shook his head.

"Like no one saw that coming." said Edd.

He cleared his throat.

"Anyways, I'm in." said Edd, "But only if no harm comes to the substitute teacher."

Sonic chuckled.

"Good to know, I managed to get a crew already, and we're meeting at the McDuck Mall after school." said Sonic.

Edd nodded.

"Okay." said Edd.

The two walked seperate ways.

Later; they appeared at the McDuck Mall before entering it.

They went to the food court and sat down at a booth table.

Sonic looked around.

"So where's this crew of yours?" said Edd.

"Oh they'll be here." said Sonic.

Then Roger and Wendy appeared at the table and sat down.

"We're here." said Wendy.

Edd became confused.

"This is your crew?" said Edd.

"Yeah they were the only ones who were willing to help me out." said Sonic.

"You have a crew consisting of only two people including us just to get rid of a subsitute teacher that's so attractive, that the female students don't even care about age difference and will want to start a relationship with no matter what?" said Edd, "We might as well just walk up to his porch and kill him in cold blood."

Sonic glared at Edd.

"Hey, these people are skilled in their own ways. Roger was able to repair his wing suit when you, me, and Meek were on that one planet with the merpeople and humans." said Sonic.

"Wasn't an easy feat. I spent hours working on that thing that I now have a scarab which holds my suit stuck to my back and I have to wear a shirt and backpack over it just because it would be noticable." said Roger.

"Wendy was raised by Manly Dan, a guy who is so manly, he's dressed in drag before." said Sonic.

"OH COME ON!" yelled Manly Dan.

"And Janna-"Sonic said before noticing Janna was at the table as well and became shocked, "Wait, what the hell are you doing here? I didn't invite you to be part of my crew."

Janna smirked.

"Trust me Sonic I saw this new Substitute Teacher and I don't trust him." said Janna.

"I'm not doing this because he rubs me the wrong way, I'm doing this because I'm concerned about the guys who'll be dateless for Valentines day in two days." said Sonic.

"Yeah at first, but then you realize that he has quite a complicated past, and the plan changes." said Janna.

"Can we just get this meeting underway? I'm supposed to start my shift in an hour." said Roger.

But then everyone saw the same humanoid shark that Sonic and Edd befriended in a flashback and became shocked.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?" yelled Wendy.

Roger's right arm armored up before a Star Lord like blaster appeared and he fired a round at the sharks head.

But the shark did nothing.

"Uh, should I do something?" said the shark, "Because I didn't feel a thing."

"Wow, that bites." said Janna.

The shark became mad and glared at Janna.

"Was that meant to be a shark joke?" said the shark.

Janna became shocked and gulped.

The shark smiled.

"If so, it's very funny." the shark said before laughing.

"That's Crunch." said Sonic, "I invited him to be part of this crew."

Everyone looked at Sonic.

"Ok I can understand Wendy & Roger, BUT A SHARK WHO COULD BE RELATED TO THAT CRIMINAL KING SHARK!" shouted Edd, "THATS CRAZY!"

"Yeah I'm with Double D on this." said Janna

"Scare tactic. He'll be used to scare that substitute into never returning to the school." said Sonic.

"Don't worry, I'm friendly." said Crunch, "I'm a vegetarian."

Edd looked at Crunch.

"Really?" He asked.

"Yep." said Crunch.

"Shark Tale." said Sonic.

"Cool." said Janna.

"But there won't be blood involved in this right? Because I don't do blood." said Crunch.

"No blood, you're not killing anyone, you're just scaring him away with your very intimidating appearance." said Sonic.

"But how do we do that?" said Roger.

The group did some thinking.

"Well, I rented out a warehouse in Gotham as well as a tank, but we'll have to put the plan into effect tomorrow." said Sonic.

Everyone became confused.

"Why tomorrow?" said Wendy.

"Because the owners of that warehouse rented it out to Joker for tonight." said Sonic.

"The guy that's never coming back to Arkhan to bust Harley out?" said Janna.

Sonic nodded.

"Yep but I just hope they don't let Queen Of Fables out of the book." said Sonic.

"The one thing that surprises me in that show is that the cops in Arkham are bigger assholes then the prisoners." said Wendy.

Everyone looked at Wendy.

"Yeah how so?" said Sonic.

"They torched a little kids cactus he was going to give his father Calender Man." said Wendy.

"In all fairness, when one of the inmates is an eco terrorist with the powers of Chlorokinesis, you can't take that chance." said Edd.

Everyone looked at Edd.

"You know, you should really learn to speak like a normal teenager instead of like Jimmy Neutron, not everyone speaks scientist." said Roger.

"Chlorokinesis is a psychic like power, but it's basically what allows people to control the growth of plant life and vegetation." said Sonic.

Everyone looked at Sonic in confusion.

The hedgehog pulled out a Flash comic book.

"I read Flash comics." said Sonic.

**Interview Gag**

First was Crunch who was reading a Flash comic.

"Huh, a man who works forensic evidence for the police department is struck by lightning and granted access to the speed force. Who'd have thought?" said Crunch.

Next was Edd.

He also had Flash.

"Flash is good, speedy but good." He said. "I like his TV animated Version better."

Next was Wendy.

"Where does DC get their ideas from?" said Wendy.

Next was Janna with a Flash action figure and inspecting it.

"A guy with only super speed for a power, and he's greatly underestimated despite his speed being possibly the most powerful thing in existance." said Janna.

Next was Roger.

"I saw the arrowverse version and man Flash is awesome and his wife smoking hot." said Roger.

A knocking sound was heard.

"You better not be thinking about traveling to that universe and making love to her." Wendy's voice said.

"No." said Roger.

Lastly was Sonic.

"If I were in a race with Flash, he would more then likely win due to being so fast, that if he went faster then the speed of light, he'd more then likely trap himself into the speed force." said Sonic.

**End Interview Gag**

"Why not just have the substitute be sent to the Boiling Isle and trapped there forever with Eda the Owl Lady?" said Janna.

"Because then Boiling Isle law enforcement would show up here and more then likely arrest us for sending a human into their dimension and possibly arrest Luz, Eda, and King for being people of interest due to our friendship with them." said Sonic.

Janna nodded.

"Good point, not to mention Eda's Boyfriend that Warden would have a cow if he found out Eda is here." Said Janna.

Her phone rang.

She picked it up.

"Hello?" said Janna.

"You do realize that there's supposed to be a fanfic where we end up in this dimension before deciding to stay, thereby resolving your statement right?" Eda's voice said.

Wendy chuckled.

"Burn." said Wendy.

Janna put her phone away in embarrasment.

"Anyways, after school tomorrow, I'll follow the sub to his home, then when he least expects it, we'll kidnap him and take him to Gotham City and strap him upside down over a shark tank Crunch'll be swimming in, scaring the sub so much that he'll leave Toon City and never return." said Sonic.

Everyone nodded.

"I like that plan." said Roger.

"Sounds good." said Janna.

"I'm down with it." said Crunch.

"Same here." said Wendy.

"Let's do it." said Edd.

"Good, so let's go home, get a good nights sleep for tomorrow. And don't do anything stupid." said Sonic.

"You mean like this?" Roger said before flipping his eyelids inside out and moved them around.

Everyone looked at him in shock.

"Hey, didn't Luz say she did that stunt in cheerleader tryouts for her previous school once?" said Janna.

"I think so, one of many creative reasons she got sent to the principals office, followed by the whole Romeo and Juliet stunt she did involving the beginning scene from Zootopia and that baby griffin with spiders." said Sonic, "And the one stunt with the book project and snake."

Sonic shivered in fear as he pulled out his phone.

"You should see this video of her doing that eyelid stunt she posted on YouTube yesterday." said Sonic.

He turned his phone around and showed a video of Luz with her eyelids inside out while moving them around.

"OH GOD, THAT'S GROSS!" King's voice said in the background followed by some vomiting.

Everyone laughed.

"I'm still surprised by the fact that Salem and King get together every weekend for poker." said Sonic.

**Cutaway Gag**

In the Boiling Isle in the Owl House; Salem, King, Snoopy, and Iago were sitting at a table playing poker.

"Feeling lucky tonight." said Salem.

"Yeah, you wish." said King.

Iago looked outside in shock.

"OH LOOK, GRIFFIN!" yelled Iago.

The others ran to a window and looked outside, not knowing that Iago was looking at everyones cards.

"I don't see a griffin." said Snoopy.

The others turned back to the table as Iago put the cards back.

"Must have been the wind." said Iago.

**End Cutaway Gag**

"Now let's wait till tomorrow." said Sonic.


	4. The Reason for Meat

With Zim; he was sitting on the roof of his and Dib's old school drinking a milkshake.

He finished up the beverage before tossing it.

"Whew, I needed that." said Zim.

He then sighed.

"Worth it." said Zim.

He then saw Miss Bittles exiting the school for the day.

He smirked.

"Perfect." said Zim.

He pulled out a walkie talkie.

"The snake has left the building." He said.

The others were waiting in a golf cart and Dib turned on his walkie talkie.

"I see her." said Dib.

"Still don't get why we agreed to call her the snake for a codeword besides the obvious fact that she's very snake like." said Kevin.

"I just thought it was cool." said Zim.

"Let's just get her." said Gaz.

Dib nodded.

"Right." said Dib.

Shope started the cart before driving it off.

She grinned.

"Who says that we need a drivers lisence for anything?" said Shope.

"Sonic's friend Spongebob did say that he doesn't need one to drive a sandwich, yet he managed to get one shortly after coming to the surface." said Kevin.

"Yeah, who'd have thought?" said Dib.

Zim then landed in the cart.

"Whoo, nailed it." said Zim.

He looked at his shocked friends.

"Did you just jump off the roof of a school?" said Dib.

"Yes I did." said Zim.

"I thought only Sonic had the balls to pull something like that off." said Gaz, "Besides, he did literally jump out of a window while visiting Princess Brittany's parents."

"Sonic isnt the only crazy one." said Zim, "Besides I hope his film is AWEFUL!"

He was then hit by Gaz with a steak before screaming in pain.

"He didn't talk bad shit about out Netflix film." said Gaz.

"Still can't believe it and that Rocko's Modern Life film were released on Netflix instead of being aired on Nickelodeon." said Dib.

"Well in all fairness, there is an animated Nickelodeon show that's airing on Netflix, and there'll be an Avatar The Last Airbender live action remake for streaming on that site in the future." said Shope.

Everyone nodded.

"Fair point." said Dib.

Zim groaned.

The group continued driving off.

MIss Bittles then appeared in a haunted house.

Everyone arrived and gulped.

"Of course, she lives in a haunted house." said Dib.

Zim glared at Dib.

"How can you be so sure it's haunted?" said Zim.

"GET OUT!" a scary voice said from the house.

Zim gulped.

"I retracted my question." He said.

The group got out of the golf cart.

Zim gulped again.

"Is this really worth the question of Valentines Meat?" Asked Zim.

"At this point, I'm more confused on why there's a haunted house in a Valentines Day fic." said Shope.

"I bet even the Co Arthur is confused as well." said Gaz.

They then entered the house.

"GET OUT!" yelled the same scary voice.

Zim ran off screaming in fear.

Everyone noticed it and shook their heads.

"He's out." said Gaz.

"I don't blame him." Said Dib.

"It's like trying to use ways of getting Shiny Pokemon." said Kevin.

**Cutaway Gag**

A Pokemon Trainer was spray painting a Charmander with gold paint.

But the flame vanished and he fainted.

At Mt Chimeny; a trainer kicked a Golem into the volcano before sending out a Groundon which then used it's Pressure ability in the lava before the trainer walked off.

Years later; the trainer now very old returned to the volcano.

Soon his Golem emerged and all cases in diamond except his head, arms and legs.

The elderly trainer smiled.

At a house; a trainer was doing some online shopping with a credit card.

It saw Shiny Mewtwo before buying it.

Days later; a package appeared at the house and the trainer picked it up before opening it up, revealing a Master Ball which then opened up and released a Shiny Mewtwo.

But the trainers mom came out confused.

"What the fuck is this?" said the mother.

Mewtwo then used Psychic on the mother, sending her flying away.

"YOUR A TERRIBLE SON!" She shouted.

**End Cutaway Gag**

"Now to find Miss Bittles." said Dib.

The group entered the house, but the door closed behind them, surrounding the house in darkness.

Then some lights came on, revealing Miss Bittles was glaring at them.

"Couldn't put it away, could you?" said Miss Bittles.

The two middle schoolers nodded in fear.

"Very well, I'll tell you." said Miss Bittles.

Later; the group was in the living room sitting down.

"It all began many years ago." said Miss Bittles.

**Flashback**

In the 30's; a bunch of people were buying lots of candy before Valentines Day.

"Back in the thirties; people always celebrated previous years of Valentines by giving others candy." Miss Bittles narrated.

Then some guy at a table saw everything and groaned before injecting himself with insulin.

"But one guy with a very intense case of diabetes, couldn't eat candy or anything sweet." Miss BIttles narrated some more.

"This sucks, if everyone ate no sweets on this day, they'll be sorry for me." said the man.

He did some thinking and smirked.

"But he got an idea, an aweful idea." narrated Bittles.

"I know just what to do." said the man.

He then started stapling pieces of paper on boards and trees.

"He started spreading terrible jokes about how everyone is supposed to eat meat for Valentines Day, and the whole thing caught on very quickly." narrated Bittles, "And that's how it's been since."

**End Flashback**

Everyone was shocked.

"So everyone passes out meat on Valentines Day because of an intense joke conducted by a guy with diabetes?" said Shope.

Miss Bitters nodded.

"Believe me even I was shocked by that." she said.

"Well that's a stupid reason for the meat thing." said Dib.

"Yeah what's up with that?" said Kevin.

"Beats me." said Bittles, "Now get out."

The four then exited the house.

She then smiled.

"Dib has made some good friends." She said.

"GET OUT!" The house shouted.

Bittles groaned.

"Shut it you." said Bittles.


	5. Nearly Harming a Teacher

The next day; Mr Toro was driving his car out of school and through a neighborhood.

But he didn't know that Sonic was following him on foot.

**Interview Gag**

"Ain't no way I'm losing this guy." said Sonic.

**End Interview Gag**

The man reached a house and parked the car before exiting it and walked into his house.

Sonic stopped in his tracks and pulled out a phone and did some texting.

Later; Mr Toro was sleeping in his bed when shadows loomed over him.

The man woke up groaning before looking at the figures who were actually Sonic and Roger dressed up like burglars and wearing black ski masks.

"Huh?" said Mr Toro.

They grabbed the man and walked off.

In Gotham City; Wendy; Janna, Edd, and Crunch were in a warehouse looking at a shark tank with lots of water in it.

"So you're just swimming around the tank and scaring Mr Toro enough to make him want to leave Toon CIty for good." said Edd.

"And there's no blood right?" said Crunch.

"Right." said Edd.

**Interview Gag **

"I hope." Said Edd.

**End Interview Gag**

Then Sonic and Roger appeared with a huge potato sack.

"We got him." said Roger.

The others nodded and put on their burglar clothes.

Later; Mr Toro was passed out and tied upside down over the shark tank that Crunch was swimming in.

He woke up groaning.

"Huh, what?" said Mr Toro.

He looked at Crunch swimming in the tank.

"Roar, I am a deadly half human half shark." said Crunch, "Roar."

The teacher is confused.

"What the hell?" said Mr Toro.

"Hello." said a voice.

Mr Toro looked around and eventually saw his disguised captures.

He became super annoyed.

"What's going on here?" said Mr Toro.

"We represent a group of very pissed off people who are pissed off by your presence in Toon City High." said Roger.

The teacher sighed.

"This better not be the Geometry teacher who planned this. She's doing this because I drank from her coffee mug, I had no idea about the whole-"Mr Toro said before Sonic punched a metal barrel, shocking the man.

**Interview Gag**

"That'll shut him up." said Sonic.

**End Interview Gag**

Mr Toro whimpered.

"What do you want?" He asked.

"For you to never return to Toon City or Toon City High ever again." said Janna.

Mr Toro sighed.

"I wish I could, but I'm supposed to stay there until a permanent teacher is found and-"Mr Toro said before Sonic punched the metal barrel again, shocking the man once again, "Cut it out, you're making me nauseous."

"I don't care." said Sonic

Mr Toro's nose started bleeding before a drip of blood fell into the pool and went into Crunch's nose.

The shark snarled before his eyes turned completely black.

"Blood." the shark said in a sinister voice.

He leaped out of the water towards the teacher and started reaching for him.

"BLOOD, GIVE ME YOUR BLOOD!" yelled Crunch.

Sonic became shocked.

"Oh shit." said Sonic.

Edd glared at Sonic.

"You said there wouldn't be any blood." said Edd.

"I thought there wouldn't be any either." said Sonic.

Crunch continued leaping towards Mr Toro in rage.

"Heal Crunch, heal." said Sonic.

But the shark didn't listen.

Janna, Roger, and Wendy were looking on in shock.

"This ain't good." said Wendy.

"No kidding, this must be what Crunch meant when he said he didn't do blood." said Janna.

Roger chuckled.

"Funny, all this time I thought he meant he got a little fainty." said Roger.

Everyone looked at Roger.

"Ok I gotta admit I thought that as well." admitted Janna.

"Same here." said Wendy.

Crunch resumed leaping towards Toro before Sonic leaped forward and grabbed the man and cut the rope before landing on the ground.

The shark then slammed into the tank, breaking it and causing lots of water to gush out.

"I'LL KILL YOU ALL!" yelled Crunch.

"Let's get out of here." said Edd.

Everyone ran out of the warehouse.

Later; the heroes with their burglar clothes off minus Mr Toro who was in a taxi heading to an airport were on a construction site building as Crunch still very savage was trying to get to them.

"Well, we're fucked." said Roger.

"Unless Batman shows up with shark repelent." said Janna.

Sonic groaned.

"Dude, we've got the DCAU version of Batman in this universe, not the Adam West version, the Lego version, or that Harley Quinn tv show version of Batman who each have shark repelent. It's not like our version of Batman'll just show up here with shark repelent in hand." said Sonic.

Janna is mad at Sonic and gave him a middle finger.

Then Batman appeared and landed on Crunch, pinning him to the ground.

The dark knight reached into his utility belt and pulled out a can of shark repelent.

Sonic became shocked.

"Huh, guess he does have shark repelent." said Sonic.

"Told you." said Janna.

Batman then sprayed Crunch with the shark repelent.

The shark gasped.

"What just happened?" said Crunch.

"You went savage." said Batman.

He looked at the building to see everyone else was gone.

Back in Toon City; the others were exiting a bus.

"Minor set back, we'll have to hustle quickly tomorrow." said Sonic.

"I'm out." said Edd.

Sonic looked at Edd.

"You serious?" He asked.

"Yes I am, that shark went crazy and that teacher could've died and it's your fault." said Edd.

Janna nodded.

"I'm with Double D on this." She said, "I may like crazy stuff but that was too much even for me."

Sonic groaned.

"I'm surprised by this turn of events as well, but I'm still determined to get this guy to leave Toon City." said Sonic.

He sighed.

"But I can't stand to see you or any of the other guys who's girlfriends got a good look at Mr Toro and are smitten with him being dateless on Valentines." said Sonic.

"The miracle of a long distance relationship." said Roger.

Sonic is confused.

"How so?" said Sonic.

"One of us is actually in a high school in Gravity Falls." said Roger.

Sonic nodded.

"Yeah fair point." said Sonic.

He then sighed.

"What's with all the sighing?" said Roger.

"I don't know, I think the co author is running out of ideas." said Sonic.

"Typical." said Janna.

"Anyways, about this one Luz girl you and Janna know about?" said Wendy.

"Oh, she's a very creative girl, just as creative as Roger." said Sonic.

"Yeah how so?" said Roger.

"She used a live snake for a book report and nearly used a fireworks display as well. You however used a lot of cat urine to claim the area surrounding some jawbreakers at a no human party Eddy wanted to get his hands on." said Sonic.

Roger groaned.

"Not to proud of what I did." said Roger.

He sighed.

"Excuse me a minute." said Sonic.

He ran off before returning.

"I was in Maryland beating up the co author." said Sonic.

"Well at least you didn't con MacArthur into helping you out with a situation." said Janna.

**Flashback**

MacArthur was sitting in a cop car eating a donut when a very wet and seaweed covered Sonic who also had a fish on his head appeared glaring at her.

MacArthur noticed it.

"Hey, what's with the get up?" said MacArthur.

"I'll tell you what, I was just running on water in the ocean, then suddenly a bullet from a long distance police pistol hit me in the knee, causing me to nearly drown, only to be saved by a fishermen." said Sonic.

"Who could have shot you?" said MacArthur.

Sonic pulled out a blood covered bullet.

"You did." said Sonic.

MacArthur became confused and pulled out her revolver and pulled out the chamber to see that one bullet was used, shocking her.

"Oh boy, shouldn't have done target practice on those birds." said MacArthur.

"You shot me in the knee, got me soaking wet, and I've got a fucking fish on my head." said Sonic.

MacArthur gulped.

"Oh boy." said MacArthur.

**End Flashback**

"How'd that problem solve itself?" said Wendy.

Sonic pulled out his phone and showed a picture of himself very puffy.

Wendy laughed.

"Yeah, yeah, a very bad hair day for me. But MacArthur felt bad for the whole that she bandaged me up and waited on me hands and knees for a week." said Sonic.

He put his phone away and looked around in confusion.

"Wait, where's Double D?" said Sonic.

Everyone looked around.

"Must have left during the flashback." said Janna.

Sonic sighed.

He ran off and returned.

"Maryland?" said Roger.

"Maryland." said Sonic.

He chuckled.

He then smirked.

"So who should get Double Dee?" He asked.

Everyone minus Roger who was now playing Disney Emoji Blitz put their fingers on their noses.

Roger looked up and groaned.

"Alright, alright, don't everyone go at once." said Roger.

He walked off.

"So what's the next plan?" said Janna.

"Hours of photoshop." said Sonic.

Janna was confused.

"Wait what?" She asked.

"I'll have this pulled off overnight." said Sonic.

He ran off.

Wendy and Janna looked at each other.

"Wanna get some Taco Bell?" said Wendy.

Janna nodded

"Sure, it's Taco Tuesday." She said

"Isn't it Thursday today?" said Wendy.

"Seriously?" asked Janna.

"Yep." said Wendy.

Janna pulled out her phone and looked at the calender.

She growled in anger.

"This is why the author shouldn't have gotten a partner with no concept of real world time." said Janna.


	6. Restoring Valentines Day Quota

The next day; Dib and Gaz walked into their middle school as Kevin and Shope appeared.

"Are we ready?" said Dib.

"Nope, why isn't Zim here?" said Shope.

"He said something about having land lord troubles." said Dib.

In the Cell Games arena; Cell was lying on a hammock as a Cell Jr approached him.

"Dad." said Cell Jr.

Cell looked at his miniature clone.

"What?" said Cell.

"We have a problem." said Cell Jr.

Cell became confused.

"What kind of problem?" said Cell.

He stood up and looked at something before becoming shocked.

"Oh what the hell?" said Cell.

On his arena was Zim's house.

The android became mad.

"Do you know what this means son?" said Cell.

"We have neighbors?" said Cell Jr.

Cell looked at his clone in confusion.

"Neighbors?" Cell said before becoming mad, "Bitch, I am the land lord, this fucker isn't paying rent."

He walked over to the house and knocked on the door loudly.

"HELLO, ANYONE IN THERE!?" yelled Cell.

The door opened up, revealing Zim who was glaring at Cell.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?" yelled Zim.

"I'm your new landlord, and you have to pay me a security deposit." said Cell.

Zim became confused.

"Eh?" said Zim.

"You built your property on my arena, so either you pay me a deposite, or else I'm evicting you." said Cell.

Zim became mad.

"NEVER!" yelled Zim.

He then laughed crazily and punches Cell.

Cell became mad.

Back at the middle school; the four entered the building before a distant explosion was heard.

The group became shocked.

"What was that?" said Kevin.

"Sounded like an android harming an Irken with a Kamehameha." said Gaz.

Everyone looked at Gaz.

"Don't ask." said Gaz.

Then Shope pulled out a remote as every middle school student started giving each other lots of meat.

"Do we dare?" said Shope.

"We dare." said the others.

She pushed a button on her remote and every locker opened up, shooting out lots of candy all over the place.

The humans smiled.

"CANDY, TOSS THE MEAT!" yelled one of the students.

Everyone cheered and tossed their meat away before picking up some candy.

Zim then appeared, but he was charred up.

"Hey guys." said Zim.

Everyone turned to the Irken and became shocked.

"What the hell happened to you?" said Kevin.

"You don't want to know." said Zim.

The Irken looked around in confusion.

"What happened to the whole meat on Valentines deal?" said Zim.

Gaz smiled.

"We solved it with lots of candy stuffed in everyone's locker." said Gaz.

Zim nodded.

"Okay." said Zim.

He looked down and became shocked.

"Oooh, cinnamon heart." said Zim.

He picked it up and ate it.

This confused Gaz.

"What gives?" said Gaz.

"Apparently my species can eat sweets and not regular human food." said Zim.

"Typical." said Gaz.

"Well at least we took care of this problem." said Dib.


	7. Framing Mr Toro

At Toon City High; Roger was entering his science class as Sonic appeared.

"Whoo, I've done it." said Sonic.

Roger became confused.

"You've done what?" said Roger.

"I've found a way to get rid of the substitute and make sure every guy with girlfriends who take this class have dates for tonight." said Sonic.

Roger nodded.

"Okay. So what is it?" said Roger.

"It's best I keep it to myself." said Sonic, "I don't want this getting back to Double D, he'll accuse me of being a killer."

Roger became shocked.

"What?" said Roger.

"Nothing." said Sonic.

Roger shook his head.

"Anyways, when this is all over, what do you plan on doing today?" said Roger.

"Oh I'm taking Gwen to the premeire of my movie." said Sonic.

Roger nodded.

"Yeah I saw the clips, in one scene your nose looked weird." saod Roger

Sonic became confused.

"Why would it be weird? I looked like a regular hedgehog in that film beforehand, then the whole negative reception happened and my look was changed to my games look." said Sonic.

"Whatever." said Roger.

The two sat down at seperate tables.

Then Mr Toro appeared in the room.

"Morning class." said Mr Toro.

"Good morning Mr Toro." said the class.

"I'm a little shaken up today because some assholes kidnapped me and took me to Gotham CIty where I was nearly devouered by a shark." said Mr Toro.

Everyone became confused.

"But it's all water under the bridge." said Mr Toro.

"Wow, he's very calm after a very traumatizing experience." Sonic thought.

"Anyways, let us continue our lession from yesterday." said Mr Toro.

He turned to the board and started lecturing.

Twitch scooted over to Sonic.

"I heard you tried to do this guy in." said Twitch.

Sonic sighed.

"One hundred percent wrong. I was trying to scare him into leaving Toon City." said Sonic.

"With a huge humanoid shark?" said Twitch.

"Didn't work out, but this time, I've got a better plan." said Sonic.

"What?" said Twitch.

Then everyone in class heard some rambling sounds.

"What is that?" said Sky.

"Almost sounds like an army is on it's way." said Eddy.

Then a ton of Iranian soldiers appeared in the room and surrounded Mr Toro as everyone became shocked.

"GET DOWN!" yelled one of the soldiers.

Everyone ducked down under their desks.

"What the hell?" said Meek.

The lead soldier glared at Mr Toro.

"So we meet again Mr Toro." said the lead soldier.

Mr Toro became confused.

"Do I know you?" said Mr Toro.

Then Principal Skinner entered the room confused.

"What is going on here?" said Skinner.

The lead soldier looked at Skinner.

"Sir, I am Kazeem Abdul, commander of the Iranian Freedom Fighters. This man is a wanted war criminal in our country, we must take him back to Iran immediatley." the lead soldier known as Kazeem Abdul said.

"Whoa, cool." Sonic said acting surprised.

"It's a lie." said Mr Toro.

"I assure you, this man is a killer, he has slaughtered thousands, and will kill again." said Kazeem.

"Is this true Mr Toro?" said Skinner.

"No it isn't." said Mr Toro.

But the man pulled out a photograph of Mr Toro shooting lots of men, women, and children with a shotgun and showed it to Skinner.

"Here is a black and white photograph of him slaughtering lots of men, women, and children that definetly wasn't photoshopped by a blue hedgehog in this country. His real name is Osam Killum." said Kazeem.

Everyone gasped in shock.

Roger looked at the photo in confusion.

"Where have I seen that photo before?" said Roger.

Skinner gasped before glaring at Mr Toro.

"Well you sure pulled a fast one on me, and to think that I was going to hire you on full time. Take him away." said Skinner.

But then Mr Toro grabbed a pistol from Kazeem's belt and aimed it around the classroom.

"BACK, BACK I SAY, I'M WARNING YOU, STAY AWAY FROM ME!" yelled Mr Toro.

But the soldiers tackled Mr Toro to the ground and tried to wrestle the gun away from him.

But the teacher pulled the trigger and it fired a round at Rock, going through his left ear.

The meerkat screamed in pain.

"GODDAMMIT, THAT MOTHERFUCKER SHOT ME IN MY FUCKING EAR!" yelled Rock.

He resumed screaming in pain.

Everyone looked on in shock.

**Interview Gag**

"Okay, I was not expecting that to happen." said Sonic.

**End Interview Gag**

The soldiers took Mr Toro out of the classroom.

"Wow, what incredible irony." said Sonic.

Rock continued to scream in pain.

Later outside the school; everyone was watching as the Iranian soldiers were shoving Mr Toro into a van and Rock being wheeled into an ambulance.

"THAT TEACHER IS A FUCKING MOTHER FUCKING MONSTER!" Shouted Rock.

Both vehicles were then loaded up before driving off.

Edd walked over to Sky.

"Hey, you okay?" said Edd.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I'm just a little shaken up about Mr Toro being a war criminal in Iran." said Sky.

"I'm shaken as well. There's no way we could have known about it." said Edd.

Sky turned to Edd.

"Edd, I'm sorry for ignoring you for the last few days." said Sky.

"It's alright, Happy Valentines day Sky." said Edd.

The two then leaned towards each other and started to pucker up.

But then Sky burped into Edd's face loudly.

"OH GROSS!" yelled Edd.

Sky blushed nervoulsy.

"Sorry." said Sky.

"No, no, I'm sure it'll be alright." said Edd.

The two smiled at each other.

Roger was looking through his phone as Janna appeared.

"What's up?" said Janna.

"When the Iranian soldiers showed up, they showed a photograph of Mr Toro slaughtering lots of people in it." said Roger.

"So?" said Janna.

"So, I knew that photo was recognizable from somewhere." said Roger.

He stopped working on his phone.

"Here we go, Daily Planet article by Lois Lane dated back from five months ago." said Roger.

He turned the phone to Janna who looked at it.

"Government of Iran still searching for war criminal Osam Killum." said Janna.

She gasped in shock.

"I don't believe it." said Janna.

"I know, my science substitute was a criminal in Iran." said Roger, "Should we even tell Sonic about this?"

"Nope, let's just keep this to ourselves." said Janna, "Gonna need some time to process this."

Roger nodded.

"Okay then." said Roger.

Janna walked off.

Roger then started texting a message that said 'You're not going to believe this' before posting the Daily Planet article on his text and sent it to Wendy.

A text appeared and it said 'WTF, WE NEARLY DID THE IRANIAN GOVERNMENT A FAVOR?!'

Roger texted back 'Yep, if we weren't going to kill Osam, the Iran Freedom Fighters will.'

A text appeared that said 'If that was part of Sonic's plan, then he must have not known that the Iranian goverment was really after him.'

Roger texted back 'Me and Janna decided not to tell him about it.'

He put his phone away.


	8. Valentines Day

With Edd and Sky; the two were sitting under a tree on a hill.

"I still can't believe that our substitute was really an Iranian war criminal." said Sky.

"It shocked me as well. But hopefully Principal Skinner will find someone else to be the science teacher full time." said Edd.

Sky nodded.

"Yeah I hope so." said Sky.

The sun started setting as Sky looked at her boyfriend.

"You know, we never did get to kiss each other today for Valentines Day." said Sky.

Edd chuckled.

"Well you know, the whole revalation, you burping on my face before we can kiss, and-"Edd said before being interrupted by Sky.

"Edd." said Sky.

Edd looked at Sky.

"Yeah Sky?" said Edd.

Sky smiled before crawling on top of Edd.

"Shut up and kiss me." said Sky.

The two started kissing each other.

They then wrapped their hands around each other.

The two broke apart and looked at each other face to face.

They smiled before resuming kissing each other.

Edd moved his hands to Sky's butt as she moaned.

With Sonic; he was resting on a tree branch away from where the love birds were making out.

He looked at the readers.

"Well what'd you expect, this isn't Netflix." said Sonic.

He climbed down the tree where Kevin, Shope, Dib, Gaz, and Zim were at before reaching the bottom.

"What're you happy about?" said Dib.

Sonic chuckled.

"Well, I managed to convince a whole lot of people that my substitute for science class was really an Iranian war criminal." said Sonic.

Everyone looked at Sonic in confusion.

"Yeah how so?" said Zim.

"I called the Iranian government and convinced them to play along with a plan I had, photoshopped a photo of the sub killing lots of people, then have some soldiers come in and show the principal the photoshopped photo." said Sonic.

"You mean like this five month old photo?" Gaz said while showing the same Daily Planet article Roger found.

Sonic skimmed the article and became shocked.

"Oh boy." said Sonic.

The others became confused.

"Why's that disturbing?" said Kevin.

"Because I thought I photoshopped that image. If I had known my substitute was really on the lamb, then it would have changed everything." said Sonic, "If I wasn't going to kill him, the Iranian government will."

"Yeesh." said Shope.

Sonic then smiled.

"But he's still gone, so." said Sonic.

"You're a twisted one." said Dib.

"I know." said Sonic.

Then Rock with a bandage over his shot ear appeared.

"Hey." said Rock.

"Hey." said Gaz.

The group turned to Rock and became shocked.

"What happened to you?" said Kevin.

Rock removed his bandage, revealing the hole in his ear.

Everyone screamed and Kevin puked.

"Jesus." said Kevin.

"You could put a pencil through that thing." said Dib.

"What happened?" said Shope.

"I'll tell you what happened. Some insane war criminal from Iran who was posing as my science teacher shot me." said Rock.

Everyone's jaw dropped.

"Yikes." said Zim.

"That one's on me. I tried to frame Mr Toro as a war criminal from Iran." said Sonic.

Rock glared at Sonic.

"You're the reason I have a hole in my ear?" said Rock.

"Hey, how was I supposed to know that guy really was a criminal from another country?" said Sonic.

Rock who was still mad punched Sonic in the eyes and shot him in the foot.

"That was a non leathal laser by the way." said Sonic.

"I now have to wear an earlobe ring once the hole heals up. Things'll be different from now on." said Rock.

"I may have an idea to solve that problem." said Gaz.

Rock became shocked.

"What?" said Rock.

Gaz pulled out a pistol and shot a hole in Rock's other ear that was the same size as the hole in his other ear.

The meerkat started screaming in pain.

"YOU FUCKING SHOT ME, YOU BITCH!" yelled Rock.

Everyone was shocked.

"That was your solution, shoot him in his other ear?" said Sonic.

"Eh, it was the only thing I could think of." said Gaz.

Rock screamed in pain before walking off.

Sonic laughed.

"It's like the author wants this guy to lose all his body parts." said Sonic.

He then laughed again.

"But I gotta say it is awesome." He said.

"I know right?" said Kevin.

Shope giggled.

"He's got a lot going for him." said Shope.

She then kissed Kevin on the cheek.

"You didn't by chance make any new friends right?" said Dib.

"Not that I-"Sonic said before becoming shocked, "Oh wait."

Meanwhile in Gotham City at Blackgate Penetentiary; Crunch in a prison suit was in a cell drinking something made up by a prisoner.

He stopped drinking it and set it down before looking at the other prisoner.

"Give me terrible toilet bowl wine again, I'm gonna have to shank you." said Crunch.

The prisoner gulped in shock before running off.

Then the walls crumbled down and Sonic in werehog form came in.

"I am so sorry about this. As soon as I heard that Batman incarcerated you in Blackgate Penetentiary for attempted murder, I knew I had to bust you out due to being a victim of circumstance." said Sonic.

Crunch chuckled.

"Oh don't worry, it's given me time to make myself the most feared person in prison." said Crunch.

"HERE FISHY, FISHY, FISHY!" yelled a prisoner.

"YEAH!" yelled another.

Crunch walked to the cell door.

"Look guys, I know this is all in fun, but-"Crunch said before becoming mad, "WHAT THE FUCK DID I TELL YOU ABOUT USING THAT WORD!?"

All the prisoners became shocked in fear.

"Sorry Crunch." They all said.

Sonic was also shocked.

"Yikes." said Sonic.

Crunch chuckled while walking to the hole in the wall.

"Don't worry, they're learning. Baby steps." said Crunch.

He turned back around with angrily.

"I WILL TEAR EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU APART WITH MY BARE HANDS IF I HAVE TO!" yelled Crunch.

"Okay come on, let's go." said Sonic.

Crunch turned to Sonic.

"Right behind you." said Crunch.

With that; the two left.

But Crunch returned angrily.

"IF I FIND OUT ANYONE'S BEEN TALKING BAD SHIT ABOUT ME, I'LL KILL THE FUCKER WHO WAS TALKING!" yelled Crunch.

He left the prison.


End file.
